What Does Resistance Tell You?

Did you ever notice that sometimes, even when you have an exciting idea or concept, you resist working on it or even thinking about it? You do the laundry, wash the dishes, check your email, all while your "big idea" is lurking in the recesses of your mind. Why do we resist working on projects that we know will be fulfilling and completely rewarding?

I asked myself this very question last week as I proceeded to do a multitude of small to-dos, while my big idea (the current book I'm writing) waited for me to return to it. I'm not sure of the precise reasons (I'm not a psychologist), but I'm guessing my resistance has something to do with uncertainty and fear. As long as I busy myself doing all the mundane daily stuff that "has to" get done, I get a nominal sense of accomplishment and don't have to face the potential pitfalls of the big idea - frustration, rejection, failure...

But, the thing is, all those potential pitfalls currently exist solely in my mind. My book is (for now) just a harmless word document. I was resisting because I felt overwhelmed. I felt the looming pressure to succeed. This book is a big project (my biggest to date) and when you look at EVERYTHING that has to get done to get it out there and into the hands of readers, it is overwhelming. (My heart's beating now, just writing that...) But (deep breath), all I have to do to get my book completed and out there is to work on it consistently (that's not so scary is it?). So, as long as I set aside some time every day to put some words on paper, do some research, make some calls, it WILL get done. And that's a completely wonderful and reassuring realization.

So, in my resistance, I found answers. Instead of ignoring my resistance and consequently letting it halt my endeavors, I confronted it, questioned it, and gained clarity. The next you're feeling uncertain and resisting something that will ultimately be good for you, ask yourself "why am I resisting this?". You'll be amazed at what you learn about yourself.

Live better every day.

Cailen Ascher Poles is a lifestyle designer and author. For more information about Cailen and her design company, Cailen Ascher Design, visit www.CailenAscher.com.

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Boost Self-Esteem Effortlessly : )

1. Be positive! Practice positive self-talk. So many of us list all our flaws the second we look in the mirror. Instead, make a conscious effort to practice positive (or at least neutral) self-talk. Recognize the blueness of your eyes, the beauty of your posture or the curl of your hair. Positive self-talk is key to a healthy relationship with your body.

2. Smile! Smiling is a wonderful way to improve your mood and feel better about yourself. So, when the blues are setting in, put a smile on your face and feel the effect ripple throughout your body.

3. Practice Yoga. Studies show that women who practice yoga regularly (at least 2-3 times per week) have much higher self-esteem and lower instances of eating disorders and mid-life weight gain than women who do not practice. So, grab your mat and say "Om" and revel in your new found mind-body connection.

For more information about Cailen Ascher Design or my book, Well-Designed Living, visit www.CailenAscher.bravehost.com or email CailenAscher@gmail.com.

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New Pants, New Outlook

For the past few years, I have made the effort to workout each morning, Monday through Friday. I have come to really enjoy (and dare I say even look forward to) my morning routine, but lately I've been feeling a little "blah" about it all. I felt I wasn't feeling and seeing the same results from my workouts and consequently wasn't feeling as "pumped" and positive about my workouts and myself.

Whenever I feel that I'm hitting a self-esteem plateau, I've realized that what works best for me is trying something new and being especially kind to myself in my thoughts, words, and actions. For my birthday, I received a kettle-bell (a ball-shaped weight with a handle used for aerobic strength training) and a few pairs of very cute yoga pants. This past Monday I used my kettle-bell for the first time. It was challenging, and I broke a sweat in the first 5 minutes! I felt so great afterwards. I had tried something new, challenged myself, and re-energized my enthusiasm for my workouts.

Today, I sported one of my new pairs of yoga pants during my workout. They fit me much better than my old sweats, and I actually felt cute instead of slightly frumpy. This small, cosmetic change really affected how I felt during and after my workout. Really, it did.

If you are feeling tired of your workout routine or are trying to start one up, think about things that challenge you, sound like fun, and make you feel good. Never go into it thinking "I have to do this to lose weight" - that takes all the fun out of it and makes you feel like a prisoner of your exercise routine. Make a list of all the physical activities you enjoy (even if they're atypical, like gardening or window shopping). Anything is better than nothing! Lastly, take the time to nurture yourself. Buy new sneakers, sign up for a dance-aerobics class, or take a few minutes out of your day for a peaceful walk. It'll make a world of difference.

For more information about Cailen Ascher Design or my upcoming book, Well-Designed Living, visit www.CailenAscher.bravehost.com or email CailenAscher@gmail.com.

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