are you the best version of yourself?

credit {here}

when i take the time to envision my best self, physically i don’t picture myself all that differently.  where the shift takes place is more so in my attitude towards myself and others.  my best self doesn’t obsess over the fact that she ate too much last night or replay the same frustrating moment again…and again…and again in her head.  she doesn’t impatiently follow people too closely in her car, and she doesn’t get annoyed at her husband for petty, insignificant reasons.

she’s self-possessed and calm.  and glows with an unearthly radiance that only comes with the true understanding that our world is what we make it, and nothing more.  her actions are purposeful and clear, and the base of all she does is love and compassion.

when i finish with a visualization like that, i feel refreshed and renewed.  the challenge is to keep that grounded feeling as you continue about your day, even when some jackassguy cuts you off when you’re driving.  notice your knee-jerk reaction.  just notice.  and if you don’t act on it (i.e. beep, curse, flip him the bird or whatever other creative thing you can think of), it will subside.  i promise.  and you can pat yourself on the back for reacting from your ‘best self’ – not the self that has a tendency to grit her teeth and mumble an obscenity under her breath.

deep down, we all long to be free from these baser instincts – that inner mean girl that tells you you’re fat or unattractive, the harsh critic who scoffs at your self-improvement attempts, the nasty lady who snaps at her husband.  that mean girl is not you.  and she is the only ‘person’ who truly deserves your fierceness.  so, next time the snotty lady stops by, tell her to take a hike.  then take a deep breath, and revel in your instantaneous (if momentary) transformation into the best version of yourself.
 
meditation prompt for your journal or cushion:
what does your best self look like?  act like?

.

stop apologizing for being you

trying to “fit in” is exhausting.  yet, at different moments throughout my life, i can recall that “fitting in” was the only thing that i cared about.  in fifth grade, it was “fitting in” with the popular girls, and in high school, my tennis team, and even just recently, i found myself longing to be defined wholly by my yoga practice - instead of letting my practice be an extension of who i am.

credit {here}

as an individual who tends to gravitate towards the “black” and “white” of things, in my mind, if i wanted to be a true yogi, i needed to become a vegan, pierce my nose, drink wheatgrass and eliminate my carbon footprint.  but all those external factors (that i felt i should impose upon myself in order to become a “real” yoga practitioner) have nothing to do with my authentic self.  they’re not me.  they’re not cailen. 

my nose isn’t pierced (yet, haha), and i like drinking cosmos at happy hour.  i can’t do all yoga poses perfectly (far from it), and i don’t know all their sanskrit names.  i’m not always calm or ego-free, though i’m working on it.  i really, really am.  meditation kicks my butt, and i can be totally impatient, and that bothers me.  i’m hard on myself sometimes and still struggle with my self-image sometimes.  but, overall, i’m getting better at accepting me…all of me…perceived flaws and all.

i like yoga and vodka.  does that make me less of a yogi?  i don’t think so.  yoga is the unity of all of who you are – body, mind and soul.  and it takes real guts to stand in all of who you are. 

i’ve come to realize that fitting in is kind of boring.  it’s expected and encourages you to define your life from the outside-in.  when you try to fit in, you live your life according to what you think you should do, wear, eat or say, instead of moving outward from your inner wisdom.  fitting-in is a life disconnected.

so, come back to yourself, and see the beauty that was always there.  no apologies.

yoga video: make your practice all about you!

.

what are you afraid of?

sadie nardini

confession: i’ve been putting off a few business to-dos.  i’ve had it on my calendar to contact some influential and successful yogis – one being sadie nardini, founder of core strength vinyasa.  yet, despite my intentions, i’d push “contact sadie” from week to week, always blaming my schedule for not allotting me the time to reach out to her.  but, in truth, my schedule didn’t prevent me from emailing her, my mind did – and more specifically, my fear of rejection and the unknown.

when we’re young, we’re scared of the monsters under our beds, but as we mature, we’re scared of the monsters in our own minds – and we find ourselves plagued by a whole new set of ghoulish mental afflictions.  fear of loneliness, rejection, the unknown or failure can paralyze us, convincing us it’s better to stay exactly where we are (stuck on the proverbial hamster wheel), rather than confront what we’re scared of.  our fear keeps us in a box – making our life small by binding us to patterns of thought-processes that no longer serve us.

we diet because we’re afraid of losing control and gaining weight.

we jeopardize relationships because we’re afraid of being vulnerable.

we beat ourselves up when we’re not “perfect” because we’re afraid to fail.

sound familiar?  we’ve all been there…

but the really cool thing that happens when you face your fears is that you learn that they’re not as bad as your mind envisioned.  and, you also give yourself a chance to learn and grow.  when you choose to listen to your innate inner wisdom instead of your fearful mind chatter, you put yourself on the path of growth and evolution.  and, the more you cultivate that voice, the happier and more fulfilling your life will become.  anxieties about your body will melt away.  worries about your work performance will subside.  and obstacles that used to appear to stand between you and your best self will no longer be unconquerable.  because you realize that moving outward from your most authentic self will ultimately bring nothing but good to you.    

oh yeah, and not only did sadie nardini email me back with a beautifully composed and thought-provoking email, she even gave me a shout out in a piece she wrote for the popular site, elephant journal.  so cool! 

check out sadie’s post "can money & spirituality mix?" {here}

today’s meditation prompt for your journal or cushion:

what fear keeps cropping up in your life?

are you ready to confront it?  if not, why?

if you’re ready to move beyond it, what action can you take?

.

aging gracefully {interview with baxter bell}

credit {here}

i've come to realize that a big part of yoga is engaging with your community - reaching out to fellow yogis and teachers to get their perspective on the practice.  recently, i had the pleasure of interviewing baxter bell, yoga teacher and MD, regarding his yoga philosophy and teaching style.  on his blog, yoga for healthy aging, baxter offers yoga advice and information to help individuals age gracefully using the practice of yoga.  his background in medicine combined with his yogic knowledge provide him with a holistic perspective that is undoubtedly beneficial to his clients, students and fans.  keep reading to find out even more about baxter's perspective on yoga. 

cailen ascher: what does yoga mean to you?

baxter bell: As my blog name implies, I see yoga as an amazing tool to aid us as we age.  In addition, I ask the applicants to my teacher training program this very same question each year-and as you can imagine, the variety of answers is almost endless, from quotes from the Bhagavad Gita and the Yoga Sutra, to personal distillations of yoga's effects in their lives.  For me, it has been an almost 20 year companion, both a discipline I practice, and a lens through which I see and experience the world.  Its also an almost endless, infinite course of study and inquiry that continues to capture my  attention and interest after all these years.

ca: what style of yoga do you teach/practice?  why?

  

bb: I like to joke with my new students when they ask me this by saying that I teach "Generic" yoga-you know, comes in a brown bottle, saves you a bit of money, but seems to do the trick!  what that really means to me is that I practice and teach a distillation of all the powerful influences my various teachers have taught me over the years, from Rodney Yee, Richard Rosen, Mary Paffard, Patricia Walden, Erich Schiffman, Judith Lasater, Donald Moyer, and Kaustab and TKV Desikachar.  I suppose there could be a downside to studying with many teachers and not just one Guru, as was the case back before Krishnamacharya opened the door to us householders, but its the way my path has taken me.  And of course I am also exploring new ways of doing things, so that makes it into my teaching as well.  If that doesn't tell you enough, drop by a class next time you are in Oakland and let's practice together!

ca: do you have a favorite yoga sutra?

  

bb: Depending on what my focus is an a given day, I have bunch of favorites.   One that I feel is so helpful in everyday interactions is 1.33, where Patanjali suggests we adopt certain attitudes toward our fellow human beings, in order to maintain an inner tranquility of mind: Friendliness for the happy, Compassion for those suffering, Joy and Honor for those doing good works in the world, and Equanimity and Neutrality for those who's actions don't align with our own.  Practical advice I try to put into action each day!

ca: what is your mission statement as a teacher?

  

bb: To safely and joyfully take you to places you have never been before! (or to take you back to incredible states of inner peace you've visited before!)  But, let me add that, like any "mission statement,"  this is inherently limiting.  I am also involved in training new yoga teachers, training yoga teachers interested in yoga therapeutics, and also educating yoga practitioners on how to do asana for maximum benefit and minimal risk of injury.  I try to get my ideas out locally in classes and workshops, and nationally via my 2 blogs, Yoga for Healthy Aging and Doctor's Orders at Yoga Journal blogs.

ca: what inspires you and your practice? 

bb: My inspirations are varied, but they seem to cluster around a few concepts: 

Setting time aside to be quiet and introspective

Connecting with Beauty: via nature, music, dance, poetry

Connecting with other teachers who are still investigating all yoga has to offer

Reading about yoga philosophy,which I find very fascinating!

baxter bell

a huge thanks to baxter for making the time to answer my yoga questions.  for more information about his yoga teachings, be sure to visit baxter's blog {here}.

namaste : )

and mavens, check out my new mission for lifestyle maven {here}.

.