We see the big picture, yet buckle down for the day-to-day.
We take the highs and the lows as they come (most of the time), and keep coming back for more.
It takes a lot to build a business out of nothing; to put yourself out there day after day.
When the entrepreneurial spirit lives within you, there’s no denying it. There’s no way a 9-to-5 kind of life will suffice. We think outside the box -- heck, we LIVE outside the box.
But, with all those amazing qualities, there is a dark side that I’m sure you’ve noticed at some point. An ailment that can compromise entrepreneurial gumption and leave you feeling depleted, worn out and confused.
Something so sneaky yet so prevalent, we almost don’t recognize it’s there, ruling us from the shadows. Showing up day after day. Draining our energy and confusing our decisions.
In fact, we come to think of it as a “given”, perhaps something that may even be helping us, but it’s really getting in our way. Tripping us up.
This ailment is so pervasive, I honestly don’t know if I’ve ever encountered an entrepreneur who wasn’t afflicted by it to some degree. (I know that it gets the best of me from time to time -- that’s why I felt like I needed to write this post!)
Maybe you have it too? Maybe you’re suffering from it right now...
GUILT.
I know I feel it. I know you do too.
It’s part and parcel for entrepreneurs (especially female-preneurs). It comes with the territory.
And it begins so innocently...in a subtle (almost good) way.
That nagging little bit of guilt drives us to work more, do more, be more. It pushes us to keep on keepin’ on. But, when the guilt takes up too much space in our lives, it can be devastating for ourselves and our businesses. And, it feels awful!
And no matter how much you love your business, your clients, your work, there are still days when the sh#t hits the fan. When the guilt (and everything else you’re dealing with) overwhelms you and leaves you feeling like...
Kristy Gardner While I LOVE my clients and my work, I never feel like I get away from work, and the lack of balance can make me want to curl up in a ball and hide in the back of my closet.
Kendra NasiatkaThe hardest thing about being an entrepreneur is working 24/7 and then feeling guilty when you take a break because you need one. You feel like you should just be going going going like the Energizer Bunny. The constant climb.
Hannah Poles Knowing where to start and when to stop is tough. It's very exciting (and also a little overwhelming) to be your own boss. I feel more pressure to work, work, work than I ever did in past jobs. I almost feel a little guilty when I take a break because, being a one woman show, everything falls on my shoulders and I want to be as successful as possible.
It can seem like we can’t win!
We feel like we’re not giving enough to our businesses, and in the same moment feel like we’re not giving enough to our families. We forgo self-care, meals and yoga class because we haven’t “earned it” or “should be working”. We feel like we should be further along in our businesses, have more figured out, be making more money, have a better website, have a bigger list, guilt, guilt, guilt.
We rush through our day trying to get our endless to-do list done, never taking a breath. We multi-task and consequently don’t show up fully anywhere. No good.
Perhaps, you feel like guilt is a motivator. And, maybe, in a bass-ackwards kind of way it is. But it motivates out of fear. It drives us with a whip and iron fist and feels, well, crappy.
Victoria Cunningham-Downey I feel this constant need to push myself when sometimes all I want to do is curl up into a ball and cry.
Entrepreneurship is tough enough without beating yourself up on top of it!
True and lasting motivation comes from holding the vision you have for yourself and letting your purpose pull you.
I know you know the difference between feeling guilted into doing something versus feeling totally motivated and pulled to do something. How would you rather function? (I know what I prefer!)
Honestly, the thing that helps me the most is knowing I’m not alone in feeling this way.
So, let me say that to you…
You are NOT ALONE in feeling this way. (And here's the FB group to prove it!)
Whether I’m having a high-as-the-sky-everything’s-rosy kinda day or a down-in-the-dumps what-am-I-doing-with-my-life day, I know every other person who has ever set out with a vision to make something out of nothing has felt that way.
Any person who has ever achieved anything remarkable, noteworthy or great has experienced times when they felt like a failure and guilty for not doing more, being more.
And, once you recognize that guilt is not a necessary state of being and that we can choose to move through our days and conduct our business differently, the shift has already begun.
Ridding yourself of guilt isn’t a practice to master. It’s a practice to practice.
You’ll likely never be completely rid of those momentary pangs of guilt you feel when you check your emails on your phone as your kid tries to vy for your attention, or when you feel that you shouldn’t stop for lunch because you’ve got too much to do. But, notice it for what it is -- a choice. Plain and simple.
I promise, your life and business will not fall apart if “this” or “that” doesn’t get done right now. Don’t postpone your happiness by carrying around the weight of guilt on top of everything else you do.
I, personally, want to start living the good life NOW. Not in 5, 10 or 15 years when I’ve “made it”. (What does “made it” mean anyway?!)
I’d rather do good work from a place of integrity on my own timetable than guilt myself into missing important moments with my husband and daughter to get “there” faster.
Is guilt something you struggle with as a business owner? I'd love to hear about your experience and any good coping techniques you've developed in the comments below.
Here’s to going guilt-free!
P.S. A BIG thank you to all the brave ladies who gave me permission to use their words in this post. I appreciate and respect your candidness and honesty. Sending virtual hugs your way xo
The whole time I’ve been working on this post, I’ve been singing that oldies song in my head, Only the Lonely by Roy Orbison.
(Though I’m not-quite-30, I grew up listening to late 50s & early 60s music because of my parents. My husband is always shocked that I seem to know the words to ANY oldies tune that pops up on Pandora.)
So, in case you’re too young or unfamiliar, this particular ditty goes like this…
Only the lonely (dum-dum-dum-dumdy-doo-wah)Know the way I feel tonight (ooh-yay-yay-yay-yeah)Only the lonely (dum-dum-dum-dumdy-doo-wah)Know this feeling ain't right (dum-dum-dum-dumdy-doo-wah)
Let’s be honest here, being an entrepreneur can be super lonely.
There are times when it feels like no one understands what you’re trying to do, and even well-intentioned people sometimes ask (or allude to), “When are you going to get a real job?”
It can feel like it’s you against the world -- or at least you alone in the world -- but I can assure you (because of the number of amazing purpose-driven entrepreneurs whom I’m lucky enough to have hanging with me here), you are NOT alone.
There are thousands and thousands of people out there with passion and drive and vision, just like you, who are working hard to turn their dream into a real, viable business. And they “get it”. They know how hard it can be to work on your budding business day-after-day without seeing any big results and how much of a challenge it can be to (try to) balance family and work. You NEED people like that in your life.
But, how do you find and connect with them?
Disclaimer time. This IS NOT about forming false friendships with hopes of affiliate sales and perks. What I’m talking about here is forming real, lasting relationships with some business best friends that you can turn to for advice, support and honest feedback. People that get you and KNOW you will succeed (even when you’re questioning it).
If that sounds good, let’s continue...
This month I sat down with one of my business BFFs (who also happens to be my beautiful and talented sister!) to talk about how she’s found and fostered relationships with business friends as she’s grown her business, The Baby Maven.
If you’re feeling lonely, isolated and misunderstood as you solopreneur it day-after-day, this one’s for you.
Watch the interview below.
Before we wrap this up, I’ll say it again: YOU ARE NOT ALONE!
There is an entire community of like-minded business owners right here where you can find support, encouragement, feedback, and yes, a few business BFFs too!
And, I’m here for you too, as is my lovely, gifted sister.
Want to hang with Hannah? You should! She's awesome. (FYI - If you’re a mamapreneur with little ones or a mama-to-be, you NEED Han in your life. She’s the reason my little girl has been sleeping through the night since 4 months old :-)
Want to win a Biz BFF date on me? Post the date and location (in-person or online) of your next Business BFF date in the Facebook Group and you'll be instantly entered to win some moolah towards date #2. (You'll find more details on FB and also at the end of the vid.)
Don’t solopreneur it any longer! Find some business best friends HERE.
I recently surveyed my community, fellow entrepreneurs and the members of a bunch of groups I’m in on Facebook asking what the hardest thing is about being an entrepreneur. (And if you’re part of my Purpose-Driven Entrepreneurs Facebook Group, you may have seen or even commented on it -- Thanks!)
I got a number of responses like work-life balance, wearing too many hats, feeling guilty about working all the time, and not making steady money. But, the one that really caught my attention, and I want to address in today’s lesson is resistance.
A number of people said that they feel major blocks to working on their business, business projects and big ideas.
I’ve been fascinated by resistance for a while now for 2 main reasons:
(1) I definitely feel it (not all the time, but often enough), and (2) It seems at complete odds with my vision for my business, my life and how I want to move through the world.
So, what’s the deal?
Trust me, it's not that we lack willpower, motivation or drive. We wouldn't be entrepreneurs in the first place if that was the case!
So, why do we feel such push-back when we’re doing (or trying to do) work that we love, find meaningful and will make a difference not only in our own lives but the lives of others?
Hmmm...curious…
In today's lesson, I dive into the REAL reason purpose-driven entrepreneurs experience resistance. The truth is simple but surprising and will help you move beyond the resistance you're encountering in your own life right now.
I want to hear from you!
Do you encounter resistance when you're trying to work on your business? Share your story in the comments below -- remember, the recognition of resistance is the first step to moving beyond it, so, put it out there!
Oh, and in case you're itching for a copy of War of Art (it's sooo good!), you can check out my buddy Steven's book HERE.
Ready to play BIGGER in your life and business. You need to read this book.
I just finished a book that I've been telling everyone about - Playing Big by Tara Mohr.
Tara's a life coach and expert on women's leadership and well-being. Her calling is to help women "play bigger" in their lives. Often that manifests in their businesses or work, but it could also mean claiming their voice in their community, child's school, or other volunteer initiatives.
If you want to create a purpose-full life and business, you need Tara in your life. She'll help you find and hone your voice, mission and message so that you become unstoppable.
For my favorite (life-altering) takeaways, check out my video review of Playing Big below.
